


Paradoxes (the complete biography)

by deathcomestotime



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who: Eighth Doctor Adventures - Various Authors, Faction Paradox - Various Authors
Genre: Academy Era, grandfather paradox
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6185542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathcomestotime/pseuds/deathcomestotime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The history of the infamous Grandfather Paradox, from his days at the academy to his time ruling the renegade group Faction Paradox</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradoxes (the complete biography)

**Author's Note:**

> Paradox is a girl because I wanted her to be and I can

The eight-year-old who stood in front of the untempered schism was the first time tot the guard had seen in a long time who didn't look afraid. She stood tall before the vortex, eyes wide. She seemed more fascinated with the universe then threatened by it. After a few moments she looked away.

Look back, the guard on the right thought. He was bored.

Are you okay, said the guard on the left. He was concerned, so it was to him that she addressed her question.

"What is this?" She asked aloud.

"It's the untempered schism," the guard said, irritated. "You know that."

"No, I mean, is it the time vortex? What is it?"

"It's the universe," the guard told her patiently. "It's the entirety of the universe. I'm afraid I'm not really allowed to talk to you." 

The girl turned back to the schism. "Doesn't mean I can't talk to you," she muttered. She gazed into the universe, eyes roaming over each galaxy. "It's beautiful. I've never seen anything more beautiful." One slim hand lifted, extended towards the schism. The guard waited until she was within an inch of touching the frame before grabbing her.

"You can't touch it," the right one grunted. She looked up at them, huge eyes set into a thin face.

"Can I ask you just one more question? Before I have to leave?"

He didn't say anything and thought no, but she asked the question anyway. 

"How can I destroy it?" The girl says this without looking away from the schism.

"Destroy what?"

"The universe"

The guards looked at each other, dumbstruck. Fortunately, before they had to respond, the administrator walked in. He took the little girl's hand without looking at her. She allowed herself to be led away, but looked back at the untempered schism until the very last second. The guards avoided each other's gazes.

Two days later they had both forgotten about the girl.

*****

The girl sat on a bed, silent. An adult Time Lord sat in a chair in front of her. He was her loom donor, the closest thing she had to a father. Obviously, she'd never met him before. Her head was bowed, long hair covering her face.

"How do you feel?" He asked. He was indifferent towards her. They meant nothing to each other, and after this encounter they would likely never meet again. The girl didn't like him, and at this age she was open enough with her thoughts that he knew it.

"I am inspired," she told him. "The administrator said I would be either inspired, terrified or insane. I was not terrified and I don't feel mad, so I must be inspired."

The donor sat back. He just had to confirm her mental state, and then he could go. He was already thinking of other things he had to do after this.

"What were you inspired to do?"

She considered lying. He knew that she was considering lying, and told her not to. That was the problem with telepathy.

"I was inspired to destroy the schism. Can you tell me how?"

The donor was surprised, but not concerned. It was possible that she was insane, despite her own denial. It didn't matter to him. "Nothing can destroy the entire universe, child."

"I thought we had ultimate power."

"We do. We have as much power as it's possible to have. But nobody can do impossible things."

That girl looked away. "You should leave. I'm fine, and you need to go to a meeting with the High Council. It's very important, I would hate to be an interruption."

The man smiled. She may want to destroy the universe, but at least she understood the importance of his schedule. She'd do fine. He could afford to go without worrying about her.

"Oh, one more thing," he said, standing at the door. "What's your name?"

The closest thing he had to a daughter regarded him in that silent, measured way she had. It was slightly unnerving. 

"I'm Paradox," she told him.

The name meant nothing then, to either of them. It was only her thoughts, barely heard and instantly dismissed by the man, that gave either of them an indication to what it and her might become.

Nobody can do impossible things, she thought. Nobody can destroy the universe. Nobody… yet

******

Paradox's first day at the academy was crushingly dull. From the first moment she was in agony. She loathed being crammed in with the masses as they were shuffled around from activity to activity. Everyone around her seemed so insipid, so unbelievably mundane. 

"Hi!" a girl with green hair and slitted eyes said to her. "Are you excited to get into the academy?"

Paradox stared her down until she turned away. She had no interest in socialisation. Though, considering the girl's question, she found she was excited. The academy presented opportunities which before now she had not had access to. She thought she could accomplish some wonderful things, but she would need the aid of tools such as those she could only find in the academy.

Neither her dorm room nor her teachers could offer anything more interesting then her classmates. Her teachers treated her like her loom donor had, like a child, and she was intelligent enough to resent that. She spent the day with her head bent over a desk, hair obscuring her face, counting down the microspans until the day finished.

After class she practically bolted to the library. Looking at the endless rows of books stretching as far as she could see, it was hard to keep her emotions under control. She went straight for the mechanical and scientific books. That was her current idea; to build some sort of a machine to almost dismantle the universe. She was picturing some sort of gigantic black hole type thing.

Paradox read until very late into the night, only returning to her room when she was informed that students weren't allowed in the library for longer then ten microspans. By then she already had a couple of rudimentary plans. She was smiling when she walked back to her dorm room, balancing a stack of books containing her notes and research. 

There was a boy sitting pressed against her dorm room door, nose buried in a thick paperback. He looked up when he sensed her coming.

"Is this your room?" He had a wide, welcoming smile.

"Yes." Paradox replied, too lost in thought to be really annoyed.

"Nice to meet you. I live next door, but I hate confined spaces so I thought I'd study out here. I'm Rallon, by the way." He extended a hand.

Paradox stared at him. "Is that… claustrophobia? Shouldn't the loom have edited flaws like that out?"

"Probably," Rallon answered with a rueful grin. "But looms aren't infallible. On occasion, they make mistakes."

If anything, Paradox gaped at him more. It was the first time she'd ever heard anyone say anything less then positive about the Time Lords. It was something of a revelation to her. Against her better judgement, she decided to let this weird boy stay where he was. Grudgingly, slowly, she admitted he might have something to teach her.

She shook his hand. "I'm Paradox. You're welcome to study outside my room whenever you want to."

"Good to meet you." 

Paradox headed into her room slightly off balance by this encounter. She wondered if his smiles or his manner were as charming to everyone he met, or if she was just lucky. Rallon, she decided, was not a part of the masses that filled the rest of this academy. He may not agree with her goal, but he could still help her achieve it.

******

Paradox's 11,265th day at the academy was amazingly boring. She marked off every day with a thick black marker on the temporal calendar she had hanging up on her wall. She had modified the marker to leave a permanent imprint, as the calendar repaired itself of all other damage.

Paradox was now 38.8 years old. Over the course of that lifetime, she'd tried 318 ways to destroy the universe. Nothing worked. Her dorm room was so covered in half-finished projects and sheets of paper detailing ideas that there wasn't even room to sleep. When she did need to, she borrowed Rallon's room to do so. Not even he was allowed in hers. 

This morning, she nearly tripped over a waist-high gun as she pushed herself away from her desk. She'd been up all night working on her new project, a compact matter dispenser that she felt sure she could achieve. Once she'd built the prototype and tested it, all the she had to do was increase the destruction zone. With luck, she could take out entire planets or galaxies. 

"Paradox?" Rallon shouted through the door, "we have to go to seventh-level society studies, we'll be late. Did you read that book Borusa told us to?"

Paradox shoved open the door. "Book? What book?"

"Yeah, thought not," Rallon rolled his eyes. He no longer bothered turning on his significant amounts of charm when talking to Paradox. The two of them had been friends too long for that. "Come on, I'll fill you in on the way to class."

Paradox rubbed her eyes. She had to start building as soon as possible, but class meant she would have to wait almost a span. Sighing, she followed Rallon while he told her about the book.

"So, you know Klingons, right?"

******

The labs were a third home to Paradox at that point, the library being the second. She used a room so far away from the classrooms it was almost certain to be empty. Rallon had offered to accompany her once or twice, but she always turned him down. She was well aware of the importance of keeping what she did a secret. There was technology in her lab that could incinerate entire galaxies at a time. There was even one that could dismantle the vortex, her biggest breakthrough in 30 years of working.

The same vortex dismantler that was now being examined by a tiny girl propped on a stool.

"Hey! Get away from that! What are you doing?" Paradox shouted as she grabbed the girl roughly off the stool.

The girl pulled away, rubbing her arm sulkily. "I'm allowed to touch the stuff in here. It's not like you own it."

"I built it. I hid it. It's mine, you brat. If you touch it again, I'll regenerate you. Who do you think you are?"

"Oh, I'm Ushas. I'm new here. I didn't think anyone else would find a lab as far away from the main areas of the academy."

Paradox looked over the dismantler, and warmed slightly once she realised it hadn't been damaged. "My name's Paradox. I had the same thought when I first came here. I use this place for… experiments. Mostly just to improve my skills."

Ushas smiled crookedly. "Could I join you? I've been looking for a quite spot to try out some ideas. I wouldn't make much noise or anything. I just have so many things I want to do that the academy rules prohibit."

Paradox could relate. "Well, I suppose we could try. Rallon's always saying I need more friends. As long as you don't interfere with any of my work, you can have that corner."

Ushas grabbed a thin book she'd had on the table. "Who's Rallon?" She piped.

"My friend." Ushas snorted. Paradox looked at her sharply. "What's that for?"

"You only have one other friend?"

"I'm very dedicated to my personal projects. Anyway, I doubt you have any more." Paradox threw back.

"Hey, I've been here a week! Give me a chance." Ushas looked down at her pad for a moment, then swallowed and looked up. "I'm glad to have made a friend, actually. I don't know- I didn't know if anyone would actually like me."

"I don't like you. Now shut up and carry out one of those amazing ideas of yours."

Paradox was surprised to find herself smiling as she left the lab that day. Ushas had started fiddling with a simple gene decoder, chattering on and off the whole time. It had been oddly fun. Paradox resolved to go to the library and get some biology books for her. For some reason she liked Ushas, and wanted to help her out.

*******

"Paradox?" Ushas asked one day. "Can I ask you something?"

They'd been friends for about two years by then, and had learnt to tolerate and even like each other, to a point. Paradox had happily watched Ushas grow, sharing in her joy as she found more and more ways to bend the rules. Sharing the lab had, so far, not proven a problem to either of them. 

Paradox stuck a finger in the air. "Give me a minute."

She was tipping a sizzling purple concoction into a pot. It started sparking the second it hit the metallic bottom. Wrenching a clump of dark hair out of her head from the strand hanging over her shoulder, she added that and leapt back. The pot promptly exploded.

"Well," Paradox frowned, examining the ash-coated table. "I think that was a failure, don't you?"

Ushas gaped at her. She had been leaning over the table and thus had taken the full force of the blast. Her hair was sticking up at odd angles, curls everywhere. Her eyebrows appeared to be completely burnt off. 

"Oh. I probably should have warned you. Sorry. " Paradox took a seat opposite Ushas. "What did you want to ask me about?"

Ushas looked mutinous. She took a deep breath, smoothing one hand over her frazzled scalp. With an effort, she continued. "Okay. There are these two boys, Theta and Koshcei. They're best friends, and I've always thought they were really annoying." 

Paradox waited for more. When none was forthcoming, she spread her hands on the table. "And?"

"They're, um, planning to start a band. Learn some instruments from different planets and play with them. Koshcei thinks they can be ready in a couple of years. They want me to be a part. I think it could be an opportunity for me to make friends, maybe be a bit more accepted by my peer group. But Theta and Koshcei are pretty popular, and I don't get why they want me. I'm scared it's going to be a prank or something. Should I do it?"

"A prank? That's not very Time Lord of them."

"They aren't very Time Lord," Ushas replied, annoyed. "Take the question seriously!"

Paradox considered for a while before she answered. "Look, I think you're the sort of person who needs friends. You like being alone, but you also want to talk far more then I do. If you want to get anywhere in this world, you need to have friends." Ushas smiled at Paradox's uncharacteristically nice words. "I think you should go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. That's another of Rallon's sayings."

Ushas run around the table and hugged her, much to Paradox's amazement. "Thank you! They wanted me to tell them right away when I decided what to do."

"Good luck," Paradox smiled, as she watched Ushas rush out the door. For the first time, the girl had a chance of making other friends. Paradox was happy for her. She was. 

*******

Paradox's 15,143 day at the academy was unbelievably awful . Rallon was slumped in the hallway instead of in his bed, actually sleeping. She shook him roughly.

"Paradox?" He murmured, raising one hand to shield his eyes.

"Have you been sleeping out here all night? Get up. You shouldn't need to rest for at least another month."

Rallon allowed himself to be lifted up. "I had a long night… maybe a long couple of nights."

"Huh, no kidding," Paradox grunted, bending under his weight. "Wow, what's wrong with you? You're like a sack of rocks."

"I may have eaten slightly too much ginger. I hurt all over."

"Typical you," Paradox lowered him onto his bed. "There you go, lie down for a bit. I hear it can do wonders for hangovers."

Rallon rolled over and waved Paradox away. "I'm be up in a moment. Just give me a minute, okay?"

Paradox grabbed her plans for a sonic device from her desk and headed to the lab. Sonic devices were easy to build, which was boring, but they were useful.

She never got into the lab, however. She was stopped at the door by the sound of voices coming from inside. Rummaging through her voluminous robes, she produced a small spying device and put it on the door. A portal, undetectable from the other side, instantly opened. It revealed Ushas sitting on a table surrounded by people. These were presumably her friends, a group who had started calling themselves the Deca or something. 

"I can't believe how bad hangovers are," a blond boy grumbled. Most of them looked to be in the same shape as Rallon. The blond boy was sitting so close to another, black haired, boy that they were almost touching.

"Ugh, I know," the other boy agreed. "Fortunately Ushas knew this place where we could escape class."

"It's nothing," Ushas piped up. "Just a place I go to hang out and do… you know, just stuff." So she hadn’t told them about her experiments yet.

The two boys had to be Theta and Koshcei. They were the centre of attention, easily commanding the room. It was plain to see why they were so popular. They had a strange atmosphere around them, the sort where you just wanted to hang out with them. Paradox knew several people like them in her own year. She hated them all.

The other kids in the room were clustered around the pair. One girl in particular caught Paradox's eye, a thin child with her blue hair cut short. She was very pretty. She caught Paradox's eye because she didn't recognise her. She wondered briefly if she was new, and then how that could be.

Suddenly, the girl looked up, directly at Paradox. Despite the fact she knew she couldn't see her, Paradox was startled into ripping the device off the door. Turning on her heel, she hurried away. Ushas was clearly busy. 

Later that night she was studying with Rallon and a couple of his friends. Their presence meant not much studying actually got done, but Paradox had never cared much about school anyway. Rallon spent most of his time talking about a girl he's met the night before. Apparently he was absolutely infatuated. 

"Can we see a picture of this Millennium?" One of Rallon's friends asked. Their telepathic influence hadn't been much help for the past few hours because Rallon was so excited.

"Sure," Rallon smiled, reaching for a picture by his bed. Rallon was only mediocre at painting, but a Time Lord's mediocre was vey very good by anyone else's standards. Still, it wasn't the skill of the three-dimensional drawing that made Paradox gasp. She recognised the girl within. It was the blue-haired girl she'd seen sitting with Ushas.

"Rallon! Have you been hanging out with Theta and Koshcei?"

Rallon's eyes flicked towards her. "How did you know?"

"I saw Millennium with them. She's in tight with that whole group."

Rallon swung his feet off the bed. "You saw her? Did you talk to her? Did she mention me? Did she say anything to make you think she's interested? Does she think of us as more then friends? Does she even think of us as friends?"

Paradox raised her hands in a gesture of surrender, laughing. "I don't know! I didn't get to speak to her. I just saw her with the group. Did you go to the party they threw last night?"

Rallon nodded. "I know they're younger then us, but they're actually a lot of fun. You guys should join us one day!" He extended the invitation to the whole room.

"You might like hanging out with them, but you'll never get the girl," one of Rallon's friends shouted. "She's too young for you, dude! And she's too popular. It's impossible."

Paradox's head snapped up. She'd never tried manipulating people instead of machines before, but she was confident she could do it. If anyone deserved it, Rallon did. But if she was going to help him out, she needed to start now. She had a lot of planning to do.

She gathered up her pad and books and quietly left the room. Nobody noticed her exit.

******

 

"Okay," Paradox whispered. "That's her. I'll go in and talk to her while you hang over here looking cool."

"You'd do this for me?" Rallon asked. 

"Sure. I can't believe you only spoke once! You were so obsessed with her."

Rallon smiled weakly. "It was a very good conversation."

Paradox nudged him, "sure." She looked back at him with a smile as she made her way across the library. He waved her on encouragingly.

Millennium was reading a book. Paradox sat down on the chair opposite her, casually smoothing her hands over her robes. 

"Hey, what's that you're reading?"

Millennium looked up, eyes wide. "Um, it's called A Time Lord's Shadow. It's the defining piece on theoretical temporal physics, though also touches on temporal mechanics. That's what I'm reading it for, if I'm being honest."

"The title's based off that old saying, right? A Time Lord's shadow stretches across the universe…"

"Yeah, except that's actually a much more interesting saying then anyone gives it credit for," Millennium paused abruptly, "actually why are you here? No offence."

"None taken. My name's Paradox. I'm a friend of someone I think you know- Rallon?"

"Oh yeah, him!" Millennium smiled. "He seems nice. I only talked to him once though. Why- has he mentioned me to you?"

"Rassilon, I don't think he'll shut up about you. Rallon's one of my best friends, and as such I consider it my duty to check out anyone I think he's that interested in."

"So what do you think?" Millennium laughed.

"Well, you have good taste in books. Do you want to meet up later, go for a walk in the gardens or something? Rallon could come too, if you don't mind. He'd love to see you again."

"Sure," Millennium shrugged. "I look forward to it."

Paradox made her way back to Rallon, who was lurking behind a stack of books on temporal anomalies. He turned on her eagerly.

"How did it go?"

"It's a date," Paradox muttered. "Tonight, in the garden. I'm meant to be there, but I was caught earlier for telepathic copying and I have a meeting with Borusa. Got it?"

"Yes. Were you actually caught?"

Paradox cuffed him around the head. "No, you fool. As if I would ever be that stupid."

******

"I am sure," Borusa said, "that you have all heard the phrase 'a time lord's shadow reaches across the universe.' Can anyone tell me what it means?"

Paradox rolled her eyes and reluctantly mentally signalled. Borusa had already spotted that she knew the answer and she could feel him honing in on her.

"Paradox?" He said smugly. 

"It's an encouraging phrase used to imply that a Time Lord is capable of anything they put their mind to."

"Right. But it's also more of a literal saying then most people think. Your shadow actually contains a mostly untapped well of power. Some people have theorised that a Time Lord's shadow literally extends over the entire cosmos, and that if we could access it we could have an almost unlimited supply of power."

Paradox sat up straighter, interested. "So you mean we can't access this energy?"

"Well, if you would refrain from interrupting my lesson I was just getting around to that. Yes, many people have tried over the years but as far as we know it's impossible. Energy readings say that our shadow is more powerful then any weapon we've ever developed, but since we can't access it it's a moot point. It's believed that our shadow was deliberately designed by Rassilon to be impossible to get to. Perhaps he could use his, but we'll never be able to use ours. It's not possible. Not only that, but some people have theorised that if we did try to access this power we'd prevent our shadow from keeping us alive. After all, our hearts are powered with a slice of shadow."

Impossible was Paradox's favourite word. She leaned forward slightly, thinking hard. If she recalibrated that vortex manipulator to the precise energy readings from her shadow…

Paradox had a new way to achieve her ultimate goal. If she gained power over the universe, it would be easy to destroy it.

******

Paradox had stopped counting off the days somewhere around day 15,500 at the academy. That was when she realised she'd forgotten to do it for five whole spans, and gave it up. She knew today was the day she'd first come to academy fifty years ago, though. Rallon and the other Deca had organised a celebration.

For the past few decades she'd worked hard, but was still no closer to destroying the cosmos. In fact, she'd become a bit preoccupied with schoolwork and her friends. She had a screen next to her desk with all the ideas she had through the day, but very few of them had been tried.

Next to it she had a similar computer screen, with a schedule. Shoving hair out of her eyes, she picked her way through her crowded room to squint at it. She had a long day ahead of her.

Her door suddenly rang with three solid knocks. Rallon's signal.

"Hey!" He called through the door. "You up?"

Paradox yanked the door open and hugged him. "Fifty years, Rallon! Can you believe we've survived this long?"

Rallon laughed. "I know! Sometimes it seemed like it would go on forever, but we've gotten this far. We can do anything!"

The two of them clung to each other, giddy.

"So, are you coming to the party today?" Rallon asked with his usual ingraining smile.

Paradox sobered "I wish I could, but my grades have been falling. I have to go to class. But trust me, I'll be there as soon as I'm free. The celebrations go all day, right?"

"Of course! Or at least for as long as we can keep moving location to avoid Borusa. Hey, if class is on now I'll walk you."

Paradox took his arm jokingly. "Lead on."

They'd been walking for a while before Paradox thought of something to say. "Will the Deca be at the party? Most of them are younger then us, so they wouldn't really be celebrating anything."

Rallon laughed. "Are you kidding? When has not having anything to celebrate ever stopped those guys from going to a party? Theta and Koshcei will throw a planet wide disco when they get to their fifty years."

Those guys, he said. Like he wasn't as much one of them as anyone. Paradox wondered why he was ever bothering to pretend otherwise.

During class she looked it up. Borusa was talking again about the glory of Rassilon and the honour of serving Gallifrey. Someone must have tipped him off that half the people in the academy wanted to be renegades, ever since Theta and Koshcei had taken it up as their ambition.

Paradox kept one ear open for new information while she scrolled though a phycology book she'd picked up at the library. She had an enormous stack of them now. They had helped her with almost all of her interactions over the last nine or so years, serving as her social and emotional crutch.

The second Borusa let them go Paradox raced out the door. Her book had worried her, theorising that the reason Rallon was hiding his friendships from her was because he feared she wouldn't understand or approve of them. She could use the party to convince him otherwise, but only if she got there fast. She had already made a crucial social error, apparently, by choosing her schoolwork over her friends.

She tracked Rallon's telepathic signals to a secluded corner a few blocks away from the academy. Ushas was the first person to see her.

"Paradox! You're here! Come on, Rallon's been dying to see you. I think he's playing eighth man bound with the rest of the Deca."

Paradox gaped at her. "Eighth man bound!? Are you kidding?"

"No," Ushas frowned. "Haven't you ever played it?"

Paradox shoved her way through the crowd until she heard a chanting from a circle in the centre of the mass. Ushas trailed behind her. 

The Deca were sitting in a ring. Rallon stood in the middle, head thrown back in some sort of trance. Jalphax beckoned Ushas and Paradox into the group without breaking the chant. Ushas jumped in eagerly, but Paradox hung back.

"Rallonatiousnex! Rallonatiousnex! Rallonatiousnex!" Ushas shouted in time to the rest of them.

Were they crazy? Eighth man bound was responsible for at average fifteen deaths every semester. The idea was that the student in the middle, in this case Rallon, would be put into a trance with the repeated chanting of his full name, which was rare for Time Lords to hear even once. From that trance he could see his future regenerations. The aim was to get to his eighth regeneration. It was incredibly dangerous, and Paradox would have stopped it if she could, but then there was no telling what would happen to Rallon.

She breathed a sigh of relief when he opened his eyes unharmed. 

"Did you see anything?" Theta asked him.

"Not even one! All I saw was blackness. Very disappointing."

"I'm going next!" Theta announced.

Rallon spotted Paradox lurking as he stepped out into the circle. He hugged her and grabbed her arm.

"Come and help us chant Theta to his eighth regeneration. It'll be fun!"

Paardox reluctantly allowed herself to be inserted into the circle. She really didn't care if a little otherfucker like Theta died, though she wasn't exactly eager to participate in such a dangerous game.

Rallon nudged her. "Do you know the opening chant?"

"No."

"Just follow along. It's great fun!"

Paradox did her best to keep up with the words as the Deca started chanting.

"Eighth man bound  
Make no sound  
The shroud covers all  
The Long and the Short  
And the Old and the Loud  
And the Young and the Dark  
And the Tall"

Paradox took a deep breath. There was still time to stop this, if she just moved fast-

The chanting started. Too late. She knew Theta wasn't his real name, but she was still momentarily taken aback at the name they did start chanting. It was pretty… unique.

Ten minutes later they were still at it. You couldn't stop the ritual until the person had been released from the trance state, and Theta was still very much in it. Sweat plastered his forehead, blonde hair lying in unattractive strands. He stared fixedly into the distance, breath coming in harsh, rattling bursts. The Deca were casting worried looks at each other. Nobody had ever heard of a trance this long or this intense.

Theta tried to walk, but struggled, veering wildly from side to side. He fell to his knees, hands hitting the ground with a dull thunk. On the other side of the circle Koshcei had his hands pressed together and was radiating anxiety.

Theta spoke, in a cracked whisper that nobody could hear. His eyes were scaring Paradox, staring out into space with no indication that he could see anything going on around him. He coughed, hacking up blood, and tried talking again.

"The… the old and the short  
The tall and the mad  
The young and the arrogant  
And the smart  
And the…"

He broke off into a series of racking coughs. Finally he allowed himself to sink to the ground, eyes clearing. He was no longer in the trance.

Koshcei all but sprinted to him, kneeling over his limp form.

"Theta! Are you okay? Don't… don't die, please. We'll never play that game again." His tears were falling uncared about onto the other boy.

Ushas knelt at Theta's other side, mentally reaching out for him. "How do you feel?"

"I feel…" Theta's weak voice brought further tears of relief to Koshcei's eyes. "I feel like crap, actually. But I think I'm going to live. And I saw… I saw them, Kosh. Seven of them."

"Seven," Rallon breathed. Everyone knew that eighth man bound had been created when an Arcadian student saw his first seven regenerations. Nobody had managed to match his record until now. Paradox had no idea what this meant.

From the look in Ushas's eyes, she had come to the same conclusion. She looked at the people standing over Theta. "We can’t let anyone know about this. The teachers would regenerate all of us and the students would all want to try it for themselves. We have to keep this a secret."

Koshcei nodded brokenly. "He's going to be fine, unless we let Borusa get his hands on him. We- we're just going to have to keep this to ourselves."

The party's mood was spoiled after a near-death incident, so people started to drift away. Paradox spotted Millennium talking quietly with Jalphax and approached them.

"Excuse me, can I have a moment with Millennium?"

Jalphax looked at her weirdly, but drifted off. Millennium turned to her.

"So, what is it? I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Rallon's right over there," Paradox nudged her. "I know you wanted to do something to celebrate his fiftieth, and now's the last opportunity you're going to get."

"Is this really the best time?" Millennium frowned.

"Trust me, yes. When Rallon's been out all day he won't leave his room or talk to anyone for the rest of the night. For such a friendly person, he's actually quite introverted."

Millennium nodded, slipping off into the crowd. Paradox swung around and walked into the nearest building. The door wasn't locked. Crime was practically unheard of in the citadel.

She rushed up the spiral staircase in the centre of the room. One hand barely touched the elegant amber-coloured banister, while her academy robes dragged behind her. She hadn’t had time to change before leaving school.

Coming across a balcony, she stepped out. She now stood on a thin balcony overlooking a small courtyard. She leaned on the railing. Suddenly, she heard the smattering of laughter coming from the courtyard below her. Peering over the balcony, she saw as Millennium dragged Rallon in the small area under the balcony. They were both smiling.

"Why are we here? What was it you wanted to show me?" Rallon asked curiously.

Paradox ducked quickly behind the banister, out of view. She hadn't realised that Millennium would take Rallon here, and worried that if she moved they'd notice her.

Millennium smiled. "Um, I have a present for you."

"Ok," Rallon's head tilted. "What is it?"

Millennium blushed, then reached out. Before Rallon could say anything, she had grabbed his hand. Rallon gasped, then tightened his hand around Millennium's. They stood there for a long time. Paradox looked away, embarrassed. Finally, she judged them to be so enthralled in each other they wouldn't notice if she left. She slipped out the door and headed back to the academy. 

******

"Two whole months, and Theta's only just getting back to normal. His shaking fits are stopping, and he says he barely ever dreams about his future selves anymore."

Paradox glanced up, bored. "He was dreaming?"

"I know! He was sleeping way too often, too. Koshcei's barely left his side in all this time. And still nobody really understands what he was talking about in that trance."

Paradox slid a thin vial of anti-matter into the phaser she was working on. "I heard someone talking about changing the rhyme. Did you know it was based off the seven future incantations that the Arcadian student saw? So logically it should be changed to Theta's."

Ushas studied the print-out of Theta's words they'd pinned above the table. "I don't think they will, though. Remember, we're still trying to keep the fact that Theta saw anything a secret, and the game's pretty popular. Anyway Theta's words don't have the same rhythm to them."

"You're probably right."

"Hey, what're you working on?" Ushas asked.

"It's a fusion gun aimed to target shadows. I've been working on it on and off for ages. You could say it's my magnum optus. It won't be ready for another year at least, though. Too many problems to figure out."

Ushas sat forward, forcing Paradox to actually look at her. "Target shadows? What will that do?"

"Well, I don't exactly know yet," Paradox smiled. "But rest assured it'll do more then you think it will."

"Right," Ushas sounded unconvinced.

Her pad beeped from somewhere inside her robes. She pulled it out, frowning. "Well, there goes my plans for the afternoon. Borusa's making us all go for an extra lesson in thermodynamics. And after that I've got an elective on gene splicing, so I won't see you until tomorrow." She cast a longing look at the cages of animals she kept on her side of the lab.

"Tell me how Theta's going, ok? Oh, and if you see Millennium can you ask her to meet me in the library?"

"Sure, I'll tell her." Ushas left.

Paradox put the gun back into its shelf and secured her barriers back over it. The barrier was invisible to the naked eye, but it would release an electric shock powerful enough to burn a Time Lord's hearts on anyone who touched it. This was obviously not a huge problem at the academy, but Paradox was confident regeneration would prove a decent enough threat to keep anyone away from the shelf.

She was reading a book on universal continuum theories when Millennium sat down next to her.

"A controversial subject," the blue-haired girl said without greeting.

Paradox marked her page and put the book aside. "It fascinates me. How's Rallon?"

"He's fine," Millennium smiled, eyes dreamy. "He's excellent, actually. I spend so much time with him, and I never get bored. He's perfect."

Paradox laughed. "I'm happy for you."

"So," Millennium became more businesslike, "what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing, really," Paradox said, subtly reaching inside her robes for a temporal scanner. "Just wanted to ask how you and Rallon were going. Since I helped you get together and all."

"Are you taking credit for my relationship, Paradox?" Millennium asked, mock-serious.

"I guess partially," Paradox grinned. She lowered the scanner until it pointed at the floor at Millennium's feet.

"In all seriousness, thank you. Without you I probably would have been too afraid to ever ask Rallon out. I should set you up with someone to say thanks."

"What?" Paradox paused with her scanning for a minute. "No. Sorry, I have no interest."

"Really? What about Ushas?"

Paradox nearly choked. "No! Rassilon, Millennium!" She broke into laughter, taking the opportunity as Millennium was distracted to slip the scanner back into her robes. She had what she needed.

Alone in the lab a couple of hours later, having finally got rid of Millennium, she put the scanner on the table. It downloaded the frequency it had picked up into a temporary modal reader. From there, Paradox could see the exact shape of the item she'd scanned. This was an exact map of Millennium's shadow, down to the atomic sub-matter.

Paradox lowered her barrier with a signal mental signal, then lifted her gun. She flipped it over in her hands, examining every bit of it. Then she connected it to the reader's attachment port. Within millispans, Paradox was holding the first ever weapon designed exclusively to target shadows. 

Of course, she still had a lot to do. This weapon would hit the shadow, sure, but it would probably just destroy it. She needed something that accessed it. 

She spent the next few days constantly drawing up different plans, trying in vain to find something that would work. It took her nearly six months before she hit upon the answer- don't bother with trying to figure out what it's actually going to do. Hundreds of Time Lords had tried to solve this puzzle with their logic and their learning. This Time Lord was better then that.

Paradox practically run to the labs, lowering her barrier before she even got there. Ushas was absent, so she just grabbed her gun and sat hunched over it at a bench. She selected a subroutine at random and added it, opening her mind as wide as it could go. She lowered all defences, left her mind completely exposed.

She had never felt so sensitive. She could pick up on the vague, drifting thoughts of every student in the academy. She was almost painfully aware of the lab around her. A mote of dust drifted to the floor, and every cell in Paradox's body shuddered with impact when it landed.

She turned her focus back to the gun. The subroutine writhed within it, making subtle changes. Paradox hovered her hand over it, feeling the energy that surrounded it. The gun moved in her mind, twisting. It was, Paradox felt, rejecting the subroutine. It was an inanimate object, but in that moment it felt alive. Alive and angry. 

Paradox removed the subroutine. Time to try again, until the gun was perfect.

******

Paradox spun the phaser around her middle finger. She threw it up into the air. She held it up to the window to see what it looked like in the light. She showed it to Ushas's rat-monkey hybrids. She contemplated putting it in the loom that Ushas, Theta and Koshcei had stolen and hidden here. She decided against it on the grounds that she might lose it. 

She was alone, Ushas being off doing whatever it was she did with the Deca. Whenever the gang was hanging out Paradox lost all her friends. Having spent the last day with her mind open constantly she was feeling a little out of sorts. Still, this was the closest she'd ever gotten to a place where the gun was completely happy. For the first time in over two years, the gun was ready to be tested.

She was just starting to realise that the downside to this sort of weapon is that she needed an actual person to test it out on. Testing on herself had the potential to be suicide, though of course she would be aiming it at her shadow and not her. Sighing, she slid down Ushas's cages until she came to rest next to a fuzzy purple… thing.

"Did you know I'm turning sixty today?" She asked it. "I guess this will be my birthday present." She showed it to the thing. It opened its mouth, revealing rows upon rows of teeth spiralling into its gullet. Paradox gulped. 

"I wouldn't be so smug about it if I were you. I could test this out of you, you know." It seemed unimpressed. She'd show the little monster.

Paradox opened the cage with a key Ushas had left on the table when she'd hurried out to class yesterday. She lifted the fuzzy thing out and set it on a bench. She made sure to stand well back before she aimed the gun- not at the animal, but at its shadow. Her finger tightened on the trigger.

Suddenly, the animal launched itself off the table straight at Paradox's head. It exploded into a mass of snapping fangs and foaming jaws. Paradox took a step backward. Her arm dropped.

She fired the gun at her own shadow.

The fuzzy thing was the first thing to go. It crumpled and died in mid air. Its shape hang motionless and blackened in the air for a moment before Paradox turned it to dust with the merest movement of her hand.

Paradox stared. A living creature, turned to dust by a power that she didn't understand, though she had created it. She took a cautious step towards the door. Even as she tried to get to it, though, the door merged with the walls. She was trapped.

Every single shadow in the room was growing. The walls, tables, shelves, everything was now inked in black. Nothing remained uncovered. Some of the shadows even seemed to be pulling off the walls, freeing themselves into three dimensional shapes. 

"Stop! Stop! I'm meant to be able to control you!" Paradox was terrified, hard pressed not to collapse. She grabbed a bench for support. "What've I done? What have I done?"

The floor moved under her feet. She had to struggle to stay upright with shadows slipping under her feet. The room she stood in had only the barest similarities to her beloved lab. The shadows occupied everything. She could even feel them starting to slid up her feet, a cold pressure inside her shoes.

She knocked over some sort of instrument, impossible to tell what since it was as it was now utterly black. It simply sank into the shadows as it approached the floor. It didn't even leave ashes, just vanished into thin air. Paradox cowered.

The shadows suddenly peeled off the wall. The roof bent and bended. The shadows were almost three dimensional, leaning in towards Paradox. They rushed towards her as she covered her head, letting out a scream. The first inch of shadow touched her head, prompting another cry.

The door slammed open.

Paradox found herself bent double, hands over her head, screaming, in a completely normal room. She felt like a bit of an idiot. She slowly stood up, looking awkwardly at the door. Millennium had stopped dead in the doorway.

"Millennium!" She staggered, shaking. "What did you do? How did you make it stop? Did you even see it?"

Millennium had her hand over her mouth. "No, I- I didn't see anything. But- Paradox, you were screaming. And you- you-"

"What?" Paradox unfolded her arms from around her head. She gave the room an once over. The fuzzy thing she'd tried to shoot was gone, but other then that everything seemed to have returned to normal. Even the thing she'd knocked over, which she now saw was the temporary modal reader, was back.

Millennium gestured wordlessly at her.

"What?" Paradox demanded.

"Okay, two things." Millennium took a deep, shaky breath. "Your hair has sort of turned white."

Paradox lifted a thick strand of hair from where it rested on her shoulders. It was dry and straw-like. It was also white as bone, a strange contrast with the tan of her skin.

"I can live with this," she told herself. "I mean, you have blue hair, and you're fine with that. This isn't a major issue."

"Maybe not, but there are two things." Paradox looked up sharply. Millennium had her eyes religiously trained on the floor. "You- um, you don't have a shadow."

"I what!" Paradox spun in circles, looking for a shadow. As Millennium had said, it was nowhere to be found. "What did I do to myself? What have I made?"

Millennium shrugged. "Do you want your shadow back?"

"Yeah." Paradox sat down heavily at a bench. "Yeah, I don't know if I can even survive without one. A shadow is pretty important. You're good at temporal mechanics, would that help? Can you get it back?

"No, but I think the rest of the Deca might be able to. I at least know Ushas and Rallon would like to hear about this."

Paradox thought about it for just long enough to be able to say that she had. "Anything that doesn't involve going to Borusa, I'm in."

"Good, I'll take you to our base."

******  
"How can you possibly build an instrument without knowing what it does!?" Ushas shouted for what seemed like the millionth time.

"I thought I did know what it was going to do. It was supposed to allow the Time Lord to use the shadow to its full potential, accessing its almost unlimited power. It wasn't suppose to separate itself and run off, though!" Paradox replied.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I think your shadow has gained full sentience. It's alive." Jalphax told her from the other side of a pile of machinery.

Paradox sighed and flopped back. She was sitting with some of the Deca in a cave just outside of the citadel. Theta had been surprised to see her, but hadn't objected. The second Millennium pointed out Paradox's shadow issue the entire Deca had rushed into action. They had yet to find anything substantial.

"So, what do I do?" Paradox asked Jalphax. He was the one who was operating all the machinery, and had taken Paradox's full story as well as the gun.

"Well, the shadow wasn't banished or anything. It looks like it went away of its own accord. That means it could be anywhere, but it still exists. I can probably give you a fake one to get you through class, but as you've been finding out over the past few years real shadows have benefits for their owner, including keeping them alive. That means you have to find your shadow."

"I can't believe this is happening," Paradox sighed. She held still while Jalphax attached a small devise to her lower back. This projected the image of a shadow onto the ground.

"It's certainly weird," Rallon commented. "Not least because it actually frightened you. I can't imagine you scared."

"Neither," Millennium agreed. The two of them were sitting with their hands actually touching together. Paradox was politely trying to avoid eye contact. Their romance must be going very well.

She turned to Jalphax. "If I don't get my shadow back, how long will I have to live?"

"I can't be sure at this stage. Most likely about six months, but I can run further tests with the DNA samples I just took over the next few days. As a cerulean, I have a lot of free time." Ceruleans were limited in where they could go within the citadel, so Jalphax didn't have the commitments or classes that plagued the rest of them.

"Thank you." Paradox cast a long look around the small cave. "Do you guys spend a lot of time here?"

"Pretty much every free second that we get together," Rallon smiled. "Especially recently, since I started seeing Millennium."

In fact, the two of them were rarely seen apart. She was happy for them, though their common public displays of affection were uncomfortable for everyone.

She pushed herself up slowly. "Well, I hate to intrude on your private place, so if there's nothing more that can be done here I'll go back to my room. Maybe I can study the effects of the gun myself."

Jalphax nodded distractedly. "I should be ready with a few more answers in a couple of days. Until then you might as well leave."

Paradox nodded and stood up to go. Ushas watched her with worry, but didn't stop her or say anything. Paradox hurried her way up to her room. She had a stack of books that she thought could help Jalphax and herself. The Deca had a secret route in and out of the citadel. Paradox hated using the slimy, dark tunnel, but she had no choice. The tunnel used advance temporal mechanics, courtesy of Millennium, to put it slightly out of temporal sync with the rest of the planet. Paradox couldn't help but wonder why they couldn't have made it a bit nicer at the same time.

She pushed the door open tiredly. It had been a long day, and she was ready to sink into some study before her next class. However, she was stopped dead by what she saw sitting in her chair. It was a disembodied shadow.

It appeared to have its arms folded over its chest. It turned its head when it saw Paradox walk in, and regarded her. Most curiously, Paradox could actually sense some mental projections. It felt curious and a bit apprehensive. Like she had when she'd worked on the gun, she fully exposed her mind. The shadow's mind was a mess of dark, blackened emotions. There were a few words drifting around, though not in a pattern that would make any sense to a Gallifreyan mind.

Hello, she thought. I'm sorry I separated us.

Why? Was the closest translation she could make of the reply.

I don't know. I thought you were upset about it

Why?

You did try to kill me, Paradox felt the need to point out. 

No. I said hello. But then I saw how you reacted, and I thought I'd try this instead. This is how you talk with others. Do you want me back?

Yes. I need you back. Plus, I think there's still a lot that we could find out about you and what we can do together.

The shadow accepted Paradox's words. It didn't say anything beyond a vague feeling, but it slipped back under Paradox's feet. She felt it slid up her back until it had knocked the device off her. When she bent to retrieve it, she found out that it had melted into the shadow.

"Fascinating," she muttered. Jalphax was going to be pissed about losing it, but there wasn't much she could do about it. She had to get to the lab to continue her experiments.

********

Six years later, Paradox had learnt a great deal from her shadow, though her experiments still had a long way to go. She drew her shadow around her as she walked past the gate out of the citadel. This blocked both her physical form and mental readings from the guards, rendering her completely invisible. It was probably the best thing she'd been able to do with her shadow so far, though she had lots of ideas for the future.

Theta and Koshcei had acquired a TT capsule from the academy, and they planned to let Rallon and Millennium take it for a spin. Since it was their tenth anniversary together today, Theta had felt it was only right to let them have a romantic weekend away. He was insisting on coming with them, but promised to stay out of the way. Paradox, who had nothing better to do, had come to see them off.

"Hey!" Rallon exclaimed as she entered the cave. "I thought you weren't coming?"

"I'm not. Just wanted to say goodbye before you left. And check out the TT capsule, of course."

Theta was hovering anxiously around the travelling machine like a bee around a beehive. He nearly had a panic attack when Paradox touched it, but managed to reign it in. Paradox looked over at Rallon, amused.

"He's very protective," the other boy filled in.

"Well of course I am, I stole- excuse me, borrowed- this thing, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you break it. I have a lot of hopes for this journey." Theta snapped.

Paradox stepped away, raising her hands in surrender. "Fine! I won't touch it." She turned to Rallon and Millennium. "So remind me, where are you going?"

"Theta thinks he can get us to a pocket universe. It's meant to be like a circus or a toystore, or so I've been lead to believe. The Celestial Toymaker, isn’t it?" Millennium looked at Rallon for confirmation.

"Yeah. It's not the most romantic place but it should be pretty fun."

"Great!" Paradox smiled. "I can’t wait to hear how it goes. When will you be back?"

"We'll leave it for five minutes to make sure the temporal shenanigans of the thing work out. Are you going to wait for us? Because I should add that into the itinerary." 

It was weird seeing the normally relaxed Theta so uptight, but Paradox understood. This was a big moment for him, after all. His first stolen TT capsule, and thus his first real step towards becoming a renegade, which everybody knew was his ambition. No wonder he was so nervous.

"Yes, I'll be waiting. Have a lot of fun!"

Paradox sent good luck thoughts at all three of them as they stepped into the TARDIS. Millennium just had time to give her a quick wave before Theta swung the door shut. Paradox smiled as she watched them fade out. She pulled out her phycology book as she settled on a rock, deciding to use the extra time to check on how she should react when they came back. 

Thirty seconds later, they rematerialized. Paradox looked up sharply, since they were much earlier then promised. She only grew more concerned when she saw that it had thick black smoke pouring out the open door. She was on her feet in an instant, running for the doors. The TT capsule was in terrible shape, covered in burn marks and emitting huge quantities of pungent smoke. Before she reached the handle, the door fell open, and Theta came tumbling out. Paradox run right past him and stuck her head through the open door.

The air was so thick that she had to use her respiratory bypass almost immediately. She sent her mental signals of anxiety and despair screaming through the ship. Her shadow ripped itself apart from her and flowed rapidly over the console, the floor, everything, looking for Rallon or Millennium. 

Finally forced to pull her head out before she choked, she crouched down next to Theta. He was emitting deep, hacking coughs, tears streaming down his face. She shook him roughly. 

"What happened? Where are they? Tell me!"

"It… was… a… trap," he choked out. "The Toymaker got them." He gripped Paradox's arms with surprising strength. "They're dead. Both of them. I barely got out myself."

Paradox froze. "What?" Her shadow slipped out from the TARDIS and reattached itself. "Dead? It's impossible."

They aren’t in the machine, her shadow told her.

"You left them there!" She flung Theta to the ground. "You left them in the other universe! Why would you do that?"

"I wouldn't," Theta sobbed. "I didn't! You've got to believe me. Surely you can feel that I'm telling the truth?"

That was true. Mental signals as lie detectors weren't perfect, but you could usually feel something slightly off whenever people were lying, especially with Paradox's exposed mind. She'd spent so much time with her mind open that she'd never been able to really close it again. Theta's signals told her that he was sad and guilty and despairing and broken. There was no sign of lying.

Paradox gathered her shadow around her. She could feel it buzzing, a living entity pressed close to her side. She knew that ever since she'd released it it had wanted a repeat of the lab incident at the very beginning. Now was the time to give it that.

She enveloped herself in a sort of cloud, like the one she used when she wanted to hide herself from sight, but she knew Theta could still see it. She felt it condense around her. Her mind was strangely clear, she noticed, even as she diagnosed herself with shock. 

A eight year old boy sleeping outside her door because he was afraid of confined spaces

Why are you showing this to me she asked

It's what you want to see. You want to remember them. I remember them perfectly.

She felt unable to hold herself up, found herself falling to her knees. She groped with one hand, blinded by the shadow, and found a bench to pull herself up. She was in the labs. Far away, some small part of her was noticing that she'd just travelled through space without a TARDIS, which should be impossible. But she didn't care.

A blue-haired girl sitting on the lab floor, laughing

She didn't want to be alive anymore. She didn't want anything. She experienced a sudden flash behind her eyes; the untempered schism spiralling into space. She clenched her fists.

A pair of hands brushing against each other as they sat side by side.

"Dead," she whispered. "Dead. They're both dead." She didn't have the energy to scream about it. She didn't have the energy to do anything.

I can help, her shadow told her. I can fix it.

She inclined her head, and felt her shadow rip her apart.

For a single moment, Paradox's mind was scattered throughout the universe. They were like a god, watching over every single event in the universe. For an instant, they could have done anything they wanted. They could have crushed the universe like an eggshell, if they wanted. And oh, they wanted. 

But then he was back in his body. 

His shadow lay on the floor like any normal person's. He was lying on the ground, alone. He didn't look to see what he looked like, or even explore his mind to see what he felt like. He didn't care. It wouldn't matter anyway. He knew exactly what he had to do, and now he knew how to do it. He'd just had an idea. The idea.

Sixty-six bloody years of struggling through the academy. Sixty-six years of temporal mechanics and reading behind his shadow and building endless machines and working and always secretly wanting to be a part of the Deca but never being able to work up the nerve to ask and hiding his true goals, never telling anyone what he really wanted. He was done with it. He was new, and he was done. It was all over. If Rallon and Millennium were dead, the rest of the universe was bloody well going to join them.

He walked over to Ushas's side of the room. She'd been using an old-fashioned knife to cut open some sort of animal last time she was in here. He curled his fingers tightly around the bone handle and lifted the dagger.

"It's all over now. I know what I have to do. 

I'm going to destroy the universe."


End file.
